Instagram and How it affects us.

[WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST]

Hello, yes I'm still alive. I just haven't been... writing.

I just felt like sharing my thoughts on this dusty blog and (if there is) anyone who'd like to read it.

Recently I realised that I have an unhealthy obsession over social media (instagram in particular). And honestly, I hate instagram. Sometimes I feel like deleting it. Why, you ask? For youngsters at my age (not sure about those who're older/younger), particularly in their 20's, we like to... compare.

For example, OH MY GOD SHE IS USING A CHANEL BAG THAT COSTS 18K. What am I using? An rm80 handbag that I got on sale. And then I'd go, ohhh I wished I can earn that. And then someone flies to London with a business class plane ticket, and I'd go WOW I'd kill myself to even get an Economy flight ticket! Or, this girl is hanging out here and there, with this person and this person, and what am I doing? Stalking people on Instagram instead of being out there. Oh, how I wished I had her life.

Yes, I must admit, sometimes those thoughts do pop up in my head. And then I'll tell myself to SNAP.OUT.OF.IT.

And then, there is this new phenomenon where people become famous through Instagram. The correct term would be "instafamous", where they have thousands and thousands and thousands of followers. These people, they like to how'd you say, "tayang" themselves and receive compliments from complete strangers. Especially those who are putih, kurus, hidung mancung. Typical cantik.

Now, of course I can't particularly bring myself to become an instafamous person. One thing is because I don't meet the criteria. Haha. But what I don't like is how the society has created this obsession over perfection. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. We work our asses off trying to fulfill our lust, our desires. We kill ourselves to get things that we don't need but want.

Let me tell you something, once you start, you can't stop.

And then I start to wonder, where are all the people who matter? Those who work their butts off to save lives. Those who volunteer on weekends at a local shelter home. Those who fight for justice. Those intellectuals who actually leave an impact on the world. People who are too preoccupied trying to make the world a better place rather than putting on make up and taking selfies.

A few weeks ago, I volunteered to help out my campus' debate team for the inter-campus English debate competition. I ended up being part of the team. I mean, coming from someone who only competed once in high school, I gotta admit, I love it. And some people actually think that I have that gift. Not just in debate, but in conversing my thoughts to the public.

When I was younger, I've always wanted to become one of those people who saves lives. Help out those who are in need. But I guess along the way I've slowly forgotten about it, the moment I quit medical school. When I did my diploma in Tapah, we'd go to the local night market on Saturdays and there'll always be some beggars and blind people asking for money. Instead of giving them money, I bought those rm1 packets of nasi lemak and placed it in their baskets. When my friends said, "Hani, baiknya you." I'd just say, "I don't think it's fair that kita makan kenyang-kenyang beli makanan banyak tapi diorang lapar." 

And now, I gotta admit. Instead of worrying about helping others who are needy, I worry about silly things such as "how am I gonna pay for that certain thing that is in my wishlist." So I decided to create more money. If you already didn't know, the term "business" has always been in my blood, starting from my parents. But recently sales for my business wasn't doing very well and I was worried. How am I going to pay back all the debt I incurred? For a whole week I was lost. What am I gonna do?

I almost gave up.

Until I realised, Allah is actually sending me a message. He just took a small fraction of the nikmat that I so beautifully enjoyed without even thinking about the blessings that He has given me all this while. I was greedy. I wanted more.

And then I started to think about the cause of this greediness: Instagram. Why did I let myself to be affected by this situation? Am I not smarter than this? And so, I stopped. I stopped worrying about those silly things. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy. I made doa to Allah SWT to give me inner peace.

I no longer want to live my life based on what I see online, or what people tell me. How I should dress, how I should look, how I should be behaving. I am what I am, I try to be nice to everyone. I am not an extrovert, I tend to be an outcast, a shadow. But when I use my "talent", ie conversing my thoughts in public, I am not someone people can mess around with. I want to do things that matter. Instead of worrying about an 18k bag, or chasing after materialistic things, I truly believe in order to find inner peace you have to do things that matter to you.

Sure, buying a Birkin would make you feel happy. But only for a while. And then you'd want more and more and more. Nothing is ever enough. I'm not saying that chasing after worldly goods is wrong, I'm simply implying that we shouldn't be too obsessed over it that we get stressed over it to the extent that inter-human relationships become affected.

So HOW can you relate Instagram with your life? Like I mentioned before, we unknowingly create this obsession over unlimited worldly desires - beauty, clothing, automobiles, etc. What we should be focusing on is how many deeds have we done in a day. And my plan? To use my "talent" for the better. To speak up more on important issues and raise awareness.

This is a reminder, to you, and to me. InsyaAllah.

p/s: And guess what? As I am writing this I managed to get a new business contract. See? God's miracles!